1 Peter 3:1-2 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
I was talking to a wise, older, godly woman about marriage recently. God has dealt with me in the past about nagging, and I don’t do it much anymore except for the occasional persuasive nudge. I’ve learned that words don’t have the same influence or lasting effect as actions. With me working full time and my husband working at home and healing, the roles have changed a bit.
What is a good wife?
June Cleaver or Martha Stewart I am not and never was. For a long time I mixed temperament with character. I’ve been learning what being a godly wife is.
Let’s start with the tough stuff.
Sometimes husbands don’t act right (nor do wives.) Men are human and they will miss the mark. As wives, our role is helper. That doesn’t mean doormat or just a personal assistant. But it does mean we have great influence. We have the ability to set the mood. Regardless of what our husbands may be doing wrong, we need to do and live right (not just speak it.) Loving actions are far more influential than the most articulated words ever could be.
More tough stuff.
Wives are not always right. Being humble and willing to apologize and change is key. Someone asked me at work for the secret to a good marriage. I replied, “Be a good forgiver.” People make mistakes. And when we are the ones making them, we need to own it and take responsibility. The best apology is changed behavior.
As if there’s a finally. But for this short blog, I’ll add one more point. Being a good wife starts with being a good daughter of Abba. If God isn’t first and center, no relationship will be at its best. I can’t love properly unless I know what love is. And God is love.
I spent most of my married years unpacking the Uhaul of baggage I brought and slowing throwing the junk away. Good wives to me meant looking good and having everything around you looking good, too. Now I get with maturity that looking nice on the inside reflects the outward appearance. However, it’s not about pretend perfection. It’s about true humility and love.
Am I a good wife? I’m trying. I’m being the best daughter of my Heavenly Father that I can be. Thank you Lord for the work you’re doing in me. Good daughters=good wives.
Proverbs 31:30 ESV Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.