I couldn’t sleep. The nudge to draw closer was strong. So I talked to Abba. I said quietly to Him….
I want to really feel your love in a special way.
It wasn’t like I was seeking arms from Heaven to bend down and give me a hug. I desired something. I’m not quite sure what. But after a few minutes in silence that felt like eternity, I looked out the window.
I saw stars shining brightly through the light pollution of the city. All of a sudden I felt so small. I understood how insignificant and finite I am. My life is but a vapor compared to eternity. I am just a speck in the universe. Just earlier this week a polar vortex plummeted temperatures to lows I’ve never experienced before. It doesn’t take much to see the mercy we live under.
This night I’m warmer. I have some rare quiet and solitude. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes. So small. So limited.
I want to feel your love.
That desire was replaying in my very core. But then I realized something.
The God who created everything I see, who can’t be exaggerated and has no equal knows me. He died for me. I am speaking to Him.
Psalm 139:16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Before I existed my days were already written. Everything I’m going through, have been through and will experience He knows.
Yes, He knows.
I don’t have to bang on heaven’s door in desperation. I don’t need to panic or worry.
What if God really does know what He’s doing? What if He has a plan after all?
I can’t understand it or see it. But I get it. He chose me. He calls me significant. Valuable. Special.
El Elyon, God Most High made me on purpose and loves me. No matter what I’m facing I can say that YHVH is with me.
Do I “feel” His love? No. But I don’t have to. I have something far better, and that’s what I’m resting in.
Zephaniah 3:17 ESV The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.