Psalm 91:1-2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Once in a while you hear something that absolutes pierces and changes your life. That happened to me.
I prayed that God would speak to me. And He did…later that same day.
Why was I surprised? God speaks. We just need to listen.
A friend recently said Psalm 91 was in their spirit for me. But not in the traditional application. They sensed it was about God wanting me to get my shelter from Him.
Ok. I trust in Him and hope in Him already. I’ve learned not to hope in people. Painfully so from a young age. I grew up as an independent, self-preserving and self-reliant person. Some who didn’t understand trauma saw my struggle as putting faith in people. I was the opposite. I never fully trusted and never fully opened up. And when I did, out of fear I backed away. The times I did pour out my heart to others were me trying to find something to mop up my need.
God was about to show up in a powerful way. I was ready.
I was hearing this woman speak about how their mother would share ultra personal and inappropriate things with them growing up. How this lady’s mother used her young daughter as a confidant and emotional crutch. It caused her to make false vows for self protection as an adult. My mother was almost identical to hers in that sense. She directly said…
“I was taught that other people’s issues are my issues.”
When she uttered that God whispered to me.
“That is it Laurel. You weren’t taught where you stop and others begin. Other people’s issues aren’t yours. Pray for them, yes, but don’t internalize it. You need to repent of the unholy vows and make right ones.”
Because I was wounded so early in life, I didn’t hope or trust in others. Once someone who didn’t know me well told me to stop hoping in people. That’s funny to me because I don’t even know how I’d do something like that. Honestly I just lived…expecting the worst. They were right that God is my hope and I needed the full revelation of it.
And I’m a daughter of the King. I am more than a conqueror.
A quote from Irene Rollins that I love is….”Be authentic with the many, but vulnerable with the few.”
I am pretty authentic. But being vulnerable is hard. I have shared my failings in the past to minister to others. But mostly on my terms. And sometimes the flesh was mixed with the spirit.
God reminded me of when I told Him in prayer, “I’ll never trust them again. I’ll never try again.”
Have you ever done that?
“I’ll never forgive them. I’ll never speak to them again. I’ll never trust men/women again. I’ll never try this….or do that again. I will never go there. I will never let this go.”
All because we got wounded and entertained lies. And those lies became beliefs. The beliefs became thoughts. Feelings attached to those thoughts and our behavior resulted from it.
God revealed to me that taking on issues I am not meant to will, and has, held me back from all He wants of and for me.
Those that have wronged me, and the same for those that wronged you, are God’s responsibility. Leave it in His hands.
A couple of people have used social media and my blogs to connect with space, support me from a distance, “help” me by liking certain posts to be the Holy Spirit in my life based on misjudgments. My family has been subjected to hearing painful gossip several times. We have heard God’s voice clearly. My boundaries feel very crossed and it’s been incredibly…challenging to forgive through. Making things right is incredibly important to God. Our heartbeat should be in tune with the Father’s.
What God is directing me to do is: get off of social media for a long sabbatical, do not mention any longer the past or current failings of those who hurt me and my family, focus on God and God alone, ask for wisdom on all those God wants me to give a healthy measure of trust to for godly fellowship.
And one more thing.
Take Jesus back into the hurts, starting with its inception, and ask Him to heal and redeem my life. My mother passed away 8 years ago. I can’t go to her. For others, it’s up to God at this point. All I can do is invite the Savior into those places of the soul.
We don’t have to convince God to give someone a judgment day. Same for you. You don’t need to convince God to give you a judgement day. You will get one. We all will. And none of us can be anything but naked and humble before a holy God in that moment.
I’m going to be quiet in my blogging for a season. But what I want to leave you with is hope. He reveals to heal. God has shown me what it means for Him to be my emotional and spiritual shelter. We serve a God that can do anything. Often when we surrender, we finally see breakthroughs. Get before God and ask Him to reveal to you any lies and unbiblical beliefs you have. Repent of any unholy and unhealthy vows. God desires us to live in community, walking in love and sharing our giftings with others.
“Father, I pray for every person reading this. May each person, myself included, get their shelter in You. May you reveal to us the lies we believe and replace them with the truths of Your Word. Help us to be obedient to your leading. May we be humble, broken, and selfless, loving others as Christ loved us. Remove any hardness and harshness and give us gentle, tender, compassionate hearts. May your perfect love cast out our fears.”
It’s not about us. May we all live in love and freedom so God’s purposes are done. Psalm 91 has a promise. When we abide in God’s shelter He will answer us, rescue us, honor us, and satisfy us with His love. What could be more amazing than having the Creator of everything loving us and giving to us?
Embrace the truth so you can share the transforming love of God with others. The time is short. The need is great. God can do anything through a broken person who knows their Creator intimately.
Thank you Lord.
Psalm 91 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place— the Most High, who is my refuge — no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.
“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”