Recently I feel as though my spirit had an upgrade. Perhaps an epiphany of sorts.
I’m seeing the evolution of my faith and understanding. It rattles my comfort but satisfies my thirst. Greatly.
I’ve written in several blogs that my life “is still being written.” And from my perspective, it’s true.
But it’s not. It is all already written.
Psalm 139:16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
He already knows.
As I seek Him, I can trust that my desires will line up with His in time. So I can thank God in prayer and ask for preparation in receiving it. And all of my needs are known. Even in what appears to be unmet, it’s no surprise and has a purpose.
None of us have to worry one second longer.
And…for many years I struggled with seeing God as a giver. I bought the lie Eve did; God withholds or takes good.
Follow me for a minute. I finally realized that God is a giver of good (Matthew 7:11). He doesn’t withhold good (Psalm 84:11). All good and perfect gifts come from Him (James 1:17). Yes, yes and yes.
The devil, our enemy, is a taker. He steals, kills, and destroys (John 10:10).
Ok. So God is a giver and Satan is a taker.
God also restricts/withholds. Satan also gives (though the end result involves a taking.)
If God only gave, we would be overwhelmed. If He only withheld or took, we would be desolate.
2 Corinthians 12:8-9 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Sometimes God asks us to trust Him and rest in His grace, His empowering to carry us in life. His withholding is in His plan.
Lastly…God really does want me to love myself (in a non narcissistic way.)
It’s ok to love who I am and know my Creator loves me. And I’m called to live loved.
Live loved by God.
When you know you’re loved, it frees you to be yourself. To be me. Healthy me. The me that emulates Christ and radiates the fruits of the Spirit through my own quirks and expression.
Proverbs 19:8 Whoever gets sense loves his own soul; he who keeps understanding will discover good.
Ephesians 5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church
Bringing it all together.
God is outside of time. He’s eternal, and has already written the book of my life. He chose me, gave me gifts and talents, and is guiding my steps. He gives good, but His love is in His restrictions, too. The enemy masks as a giver, but only eventually takes. And, I can love myself without being selfish, self centered, or unhealthy. In fact, it’s healthy in balance.
That’s a lot to chew on. I’m slowly savoring this, lingering on the texture and taste of what I just experienced.
Psalm 34:8 Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Yes, the Lord is good. Very good.